In this module, you will identify and confront your fears and limiting beliefs. By addressing these barriers, you will gain self-confidence & resilience, and you will unlock your full potential as you progress through your self-leadership journey. Use your Journal to reflect on your experiences and insights as you work through the activities in Module 2.
Goals:
- Identify your fears and limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
- Develop strategies for overcoming these barriers.
- Reflect on your progress and growth in facing your fears and challenging your limiting beliefs.
Shake your unhealthy beliefs with “The Work” by Katie Byron:
Start by identifying an unhealthy belief related to your fears about being or acting as an entrepreneur. Write your limiting belief here below and phrase it something like “I am not experienced enough to start a successful business”.
You can also check above, at action #2 from Module 1.
Step 1: Ask yourself “Is this belief 100% true?”
Make sure you answer looking at all the 100%! Not 99%, not 90%, not 50%. 100%. Fully. Undisputedly.
Step 2: Ask yourself “Which proof do I have that is 100% true?” if you answered with YES on the previous one OR ask “What proof do I have that it is not 100% true?” if you answered with NO.
Step 3: Continue and ask yourself “What do I feel and how do I act when this thought comes to the surface?”.
Focus intensively on how you feel. If you are unfamiliar with naming your feelings or looking at the layers underneath an emotion, refer to the Wheel of Emotions at the end of this exercise. Start at the center of the wheel and deep-dive on your emotion by moving towards the end of the wheel, until you find the exact name(s) of what you feel.
Step 4: Ask “Who am I without this belief?”.
Phrase it something like “I am the one who…”: “...doesn’t fear anything”, “feels capable”, “feels satisfied and content”, “is happy and at peace” or whatever you feel like writing here. Spend some time on this one too, it is key to shaking the unhealthy belief.
Step 5: Ask “How would I rephrase this, so it becomes supportive?”.
Like in our example, maybe I would go with “I am experienced enough to start a business now, which we will later see if it’s going to be successful or not (either way will be fine)”.
How to know if you are resilient enough:
This is a self-evaluation technique that we adapted from the “Wheel of Life” coaching exercise. We have assigned 8 types of abilities you should have as an entrepreneur, in order to “make it through” and meet your business goals.
Take each one and give yourself a grade from 1 to 10, as you see the measuring scale in the picture. Then connect the dots and see where you are NOW.
Now you can write 1-2 actions for each improvement area, to help you achieve each particular goal.
If you feel stuck, you can also ask for a 1:1 session with a coach, presenting this topic as the one you wish to work on.
Build resilience with the ABCDE method:
This method comes from Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy or REBT and stands for Adversity, Beliefs, Consequences, Disputation, and Energization.
Step 1 | Adversity: Ask yourself “What am I facing?” and identify the specific adversity or challenging situation that you are facing. It could be a setback, failure, or any obstacle that is causing distress.
Step 2 | Beliefs: Ask yourself “What am I telling myself about this challenge?”. Examine the beliefs and thoughts that arise in response to the adversity. Identify any negative or limiting beliefs that may be contributing to feelings of helplessness or hopelessness.
Step 3 | Consequences: Continue and ask yourself “How do I react (behave & feel) to this?”. Explore the emotional and behavioral consequences of these beliefs. Understand how these beliefs are impacting your mood, behavior, and overall well-being.
Step 4 | Disputation: Start working on disputing the limiting beliefs. Ask yourself “What evidence do I have about these negative thoughts being true?”, while looking for more rational and constructive perspectives.
Step 5 | Energization: Finally, energize yourself with new, empowering beliefs and thoughts by asking “What can I replace this thought with?”. Switch from negative beliefs towards positive, resilient, and self-affirming beliefs, to navigate challenges effectively.
Identify beliefs about self-confident people:
Prepare to write a list with bullet points on what you believe about self-confident people. Consider what they do, how they behave, what they think, what they say, how they speak, how they interact with people, and anything else that comes to mind.
Put down your first thoughts, don’t filter them!
If you run out of ideas fast, try thinking of a situation when you met this type of people. Add these complementary beliefs to your list.
Even if it’s goofy or you know it’s not entirely true, if you thought it, put in on paper.
Continue to ask yourself the same question, as many times as needed, in as many ways as possible, like “What do I tell myself about them?”, “What do I tell my friends about them?”, “What do I think but never dare to say out loud?”. And come back to the list above to enrich it.
Do this until the answer is “That’s about it… that’s all I believe about them”.
Now it’s time to reflect on it.
- What comes to the surface?
- What is revealed, when you look at your list?
- What did you figure out about yourself, doing this exercise?
Build self-confidence with the 3 intelligence levels:
This method comes from Alan Seale and stands for:
- Head as the symbol of rationality.
- Heart as the symbol of intuition and universal knowledge.
- Gut as the symbol for feelings, emotions, and physiological manifestations.
Step 0 | Set-up: Begin by identifying a situation when it was hard for you to act the way you wanted to because you lacked self-confidence. Or a situation when you acted not in line with who you are, for the same reason. Or even to a future situation where you are uncomfortable or even afraid to do what’s right by you. Write it here below, in short.
Step 1 | Head intelligence: The primary job of the head intelligence is to make sure that you are safe and secure. Therefore, it analyzes, organizes, and strategizes. It views everything from the perspective of past experiences and future outcomes. It’s easier for the head to live in the past and future than it is for it to be fully present right here, right now. And because its first concern is your well-being and safety, your natural tendency is to go there first when you feel threatened in any way, to figure out what to do.
Start with the rational level and ask yourself the 3 questions you learned during activity #2 from Module 1.
- What are you telling yourself about YOURSELF on this topic?
- What are you telling yourself about OTHERS on this topic?
- What are you telling yourself about THE TOPIC itself?
Step 2 | Heart intelligence: The heart intelligence connects us to a greater awareness, a larger truth, and a greater wisdom. The heart intelligence center, located in the center of the chest, has an enormous capacity to reach far out into the energy field of what is happening, to gather information. It then integrates that information into our whole being. It has access to a far greater field of information than the field that can be accessed by head intelligence alone, as it relates to universal knowledge, outside of time. Therefore, it shows you a much bigger picture and often a more multi-layered understanding of what is happening.
Move towards the heart level and ask yourself the following 2 simple questions.
- What is your intuition telling you?
- What do you know to be true, if you connect the dots?
Step 3 | Gut intelligence: While the head dwells primarily in the past and future, the belly lives fully in this present moment and usually has very few words. The belly is all about gut feelings and emotions—what’s going on inside of you right here, right now? The belly’s response to what is happening is more primal, while the head’s response is more analytical. Sometimes the feelings and emotions in the belly are clear, supportive, or self-empowering; at other times, they are confusing and create doubt, fear, or anxiety. The belly speaks to you constantly. However, you must be in touch with it to hear. When you stay connected and engaged with this powerful intelligence, you are much more in touch not just with your gut feelings and emotions; you can tap into the deeper intuitive guidance underneath.
Close with the emotional & physiological level, by asking the following 3 questions:
- Where do you feel this in your body? How exactly does it feel?
- What feelings and emotions are behind these physiological responses?
- What other emotions are underneath this first layer of emotions?
Reaching the end of the exercise, it is time to reflect on the alignment of these 3 intelligences. Think about if they were to speak to each other and come to agree between themselves. Think about how you would feel in terms of self-confidence.
- What comes out of it?
- Which 3 actions do you want to take, to help build your self-confidence?
If you feel stuck, you can also ask for a 1:1 session with a coach, presenting this topic as the one you wish to work on.
Apply the Walt Disney technique to a risky decision:
This technique is called “Walt Disney” not because he invented it, but because it is inspired by Walt Disney's approach to generating ideas, calculating risks and making decisions.
This exercise works better if played with 3 different people. If you don’t have them at hand and you need to make it easier to play all 3 roles by yourself, try sitting in 3 places at the table.
Step 1 | The Dreamer: In this role, you adopt a visionary and imaginative approach. You brainstorm and generate ideas without limitations, letting your creativity flow freely. The focus is on exploring possibilities and envisioning the ideal outcome.
- What do you want to do?
- What is the goal?
- What is the ideal vision?
- What would you like to achieve if you could do anything?
- What would you like to achieve if there were no limits?
Step 2 | The Critique: You analyze and refine the ideas further. You ask critical questions and challenge assumptions, to ensure the ideas are well-rounded, viable, and aligned with the overall goals. Ask yourself what could go wrong and find weak points.
- What can go wrong?
- What is lacking?
- What did you forget?
- What are the potential risks?
- What are the potential weaknesses?
Step 3 | The Realist: As the realist, you switch to a practical mindset. You evaluate the ideas generated in the dreaming phase, as well as their weak points identified in the critique phase. Then you assess their feasibility, finding solutions to potential challenges, based on the resources that would be required for that.
- What do you need to put this idea into action?
- What are the first/next steps?
- When can you do each?
- What resources do you need?
- What resources do you already have that you could use?
Close the exercise by reflecting on the insights you found within those 3 roles.
- What comes out of it?
- How do you want to go about that risky decision?
- What are the key takeaways?
Reflections for Module 2:
- What insights did you gain about yourself while identifying your fears and limiting beliefs?
- How has your confidence and self-leadership grown as a result of facing your fears and limiting beliefs?
- What additional support or resources might you need to continue addressing your fears and limiting beliefs?
Additional resources:
Tools
- Make sure you took the Positive Intelligence Assessment, referenced in the pre-requisites, and found your saboteurs: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
- Fear Setting exercise: https://tim.blog/2017/05/15/fear-setting/
- Video of the World’s Guinness Record on riding the highest wave, at Nazare Portugal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBVt8pzjnL8
Books
- "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers
- "The Imposter Cure" by Dr. Jessamy Hibberd
Closing Thoughts:
Well done on completing Module 2!
By identifying and confronting your fears and limiting beliefs, you are empowering yourself to grow and thrive in your personal and professional life.
Remember that overcoming fears and limiting beliefs is an ongoing process, and it's essential to revisit and reevaluate your progress regularly.
Continue your journey in Module 3, where you'll delve into the entrepreneurial mindset and its role in your self-leadership development.
